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Memorials

I can't go to them. I set my alarm... and sleep through. One time I literally slept through the day. I misplace times, dates, addresses related - so unless someone else tracks them, I lose it.

I think my subconcious aversion comes from the type of Christianoid or religious stuff that goes on, plus the empathic overload from everyone there. I don't deal well with the way our society doesn't deal with death.

Have a wake, have a party, that's a little better. But usually, I'll drink at home, alone or with a couple friends, to the person's memory.

Needless to say, when I kick off, celebrate. Celebrate the fact that I lived past my 21st birthday, past my 50th birthday. Celebrate the fact that I have had fun times and good friends. Don't let the preachers near it, though. My soul and afterlife are my business, not theirs.

Also, don't kick yourself like I do if you can't get yourself to go. I'll understand.

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( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
kshandra
Oct. 2nd, 2011 07:29 am (UTC)
Today was very non-preachy, for all it was held in a church. (I know Stephanie is, or at least used to be, small-p pagan, so I would have been surprised if it had been any other way.)

I don't think I'd ever been to a memorial for a suicide before, so I don't know if my experience today is a common one, but I found there was a lot more discussion of the elephant in the room than I was expecting, including one beautiful remark in the final eulogy: "Don't focus on how he left us; focus on what he left us."
ladyqkat
Oct. 2nd, 2011 05:40 pm (UTC)
Since I will probably kick off before you do I'll be waiting at the gate witn a drink and a map. That way, you can avoid the mopers.
freyjaw
Oct. 10th, 2011 06:02 am (UTC)
Do it the way you need to. He'll understand.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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