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They Were Right

I've reconsidered my childfree position. The ticking of my biological clock has drowned out all thought, and I've changed my mind. I want babies, babies, and more babies! I'm destined to be a mother, and have realized that is the reason that god designed my body with a uterus and wide hips! I know I've said before that I'd be a horrible mother, but I understand that it truly is different when it's your own!

Starting today, I'm going to be actively seeking sperm donors, and holding a competition to see which of them is the brightest, best looking, and genetically advantaged to be the father of my beautiful babies. I will then invest in IVF in the hopes that my 43 year old uterus will bless me with no less than twins, and they will be the cutest things ever!!

I urge all of you to re-evaluate your childfree stance in the light of god's design, and then be fruitful and multiply.

Or, at least, learn how to look at the calendar and notice the date.


( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 1st, 2005 06:55 pm (UTC)
You know...
This would have been a lot more convincing if you'd thrown in a paragraph about how your hormones were raging, your life had recently become a sybaritic blur of steaming jungle passion, and you had been inspired to these new heights(?) of value system reassessment by the perfect rotundity of some studmuffin's cute buns. ;-7
Apr. 1st, 2005 07:01 pm (UTC)
Re: You know...
Ah, yes, but that would be too balie_broth for this post. Besides, I posit a nice stud muffin competition... ;-)
Apr. 1st, 2005 06:56 pm (UTC)

I'm still debating on going into my Admin's office and telling her "I'm pregnant"
Apr. 1st, 2005 08:25 pm (UTC)
I believed you up until "I urge all of you to re-evaluate your childfree stance in the light of god's design, and then be fruitful and multiply."

Apr. 1st, 2005 08:31 pm (UTC)
Alright, I should have said "I urge all of you to re-evaluate your childfree stance in the light of your ancestors and the folkways that they followed, and then bear the next generation of heathen children so there will be people to revere you as their ancestors."
Apr. 1st, 2005 09:32 pm (UTC)
Apr. 1st, 2005 08:58 pm (UTC)
Nice try
but I know you're about as likely to breed as I am ;-P

Apr. 1st, 2005 09:00 pm (UTC)
Wish you were serious!
I imagine that our DNA would combine to create a Wunderkind. At least I could guarantee that the kid could afford a good college education...
Apr. 2nd, 2005 07:46 am (UTC)
..Dammit, you had me for like a second.I must now pick my eyeballs up off of the floor.
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )

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