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*Shakes Her Head*

OK, the Drama(tm) started on note_to_asshat has now taken a truly ridiculous turn. Some wanker started note_to_elorie. Now, it could have been a member of childfree. Some people there are that immature. Or it could have been a sock puppet of elorie herself, just to claim some sort of victory - but I doubt it - she's not that clever.

But really, giving her that much attention?? Silly.

EDIT: Oh, and in her little crowdown on note_to_asshat, she is "allowing" comments, but screening them and deleting the ones that score a zinger on her. What a chickenshit - only shit that agrees with her is allowed, in a rant community. While I can understand it in a personal journal, and fully support it there, it's rather de classe in a community. What a pathetic waste, but what I've come to expect of fluffybunnies like her.



( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 2nd, 2006 05:53 am (UTC)
I think that she was very straightforward in what she wanted for the community. Are you sure that you are not riled because she thinks, or someone who posted there thinks, that people who are childfree and don't want to encounter children should either avoid places where children are obviously welcome or suck it up?

I think that post was rather reasonable, considering. After all, it doesn't take an Einstein to realize that when a restaurant offers balloons and crayons on the table with coloring game menus or placemats that the place welcomes children and, as a corollary to that, in a place that welcomes children there will be children and occasionally one of more of them will cry or scream, particularly if their parent tells them NO. To ask that those who wish not to encounter children not patronize such restaurants is rather sane logic and deals with the natural consequences of ignoring the childfriendly ambience of an eating place.

Conversely, if one wishes to eat, play, listen to a concert, or whatever without children one must be willing to go only to those places where children are obviously either not welcome or not likely to attend due to the cost of the food or the event. I don't ever remember seeing children at a dinner seating at or after 10 pm in a restaurant where the waiters wear tuxedos and the menu prices are only on the gentlemen's copy (the Italian place on the corner in downtown San Jose is an anomolie so doesn't count) i.e. a coke is likely to cost $5 and Chateaubriand is likely to be part of the faire as well as Vichisois and Veal Piccata(sic on the spellings of these dishes as I don't get to such places often either). The same is true of concerts. One rarely finds young, misbehaving children at an evening of opera or classical music, or even most rock concerts.

That the owner(s) of a community choose to set the standards for that community on LJ such that arguments with venting posts are not allowed, then that is their perogative. The standards are set forth in the beginning. They are not much different from the standards on here, in your journal. Actually, I wouldn't have been surprised to see you as one of the moderators of the asshat community as the freedom and the requirement to not whine but be funny if possible fits very well with what I know of you~~~and one of your most redeeming traits in all situations.

Anyway, that is my opinion on that community. I have applied to join so that I can asshat away some of the jerks with ears I am running into these days of cobra and the medical community and some insensitive bitches in and around Interlachen.

FWIW, your post above is eloquent. I don't know if I agree or disagree with much of it. I do disagree with part, as explained above, on the "rights" and comments of some of the childfree community members, and notice, please, I didn't even mention the "cute" names (not) given to offspring and those who have them.

I hope you are feeling better than you did last week. Love to you and Datapard. Please let me know your new snail mail addy if and when you move. Grief is still hanging around, but each day has some ups as well as downs and I will survive it. What bothers and angers me most is when people start pushing me to do stuff. I will and I am and in my own good time. I have time. I don't have to hurry with selling anything or making any major decisions. What galls me most is those who want to know when I am going to move and oh by the way am I planning to sell x or y 'cause if I am they would like first dibs. THAT pisses me off! I will sell or give away what I want to whom I want and when I want and if I don't tell everyone or someone that it is for sale, then I want them to assume that it is not for sale so don't ask. Damned Vultures! (You would be shocked at who some of the worst ones have been. I was and it wasn't family either!) Ah well, enough. I shall likely rant on this on my own journal page one day soon. Love you and hugs to you both. (I've got Truffles! I'v actually got Lindt Truffles, two, awaiting me right now. YUMMMM)
Mar. 2nd, 2006 07:18 pm (UTC)
Hey, if a restaurant offers crayons and a kids menu, I expect kids there. I also expect parents to make a good try to control them, regardless of whether it's expensive or not. I expect the parents to keep them from running around under the feet of the waiters - for the kids sake, if nothing else. It's all part of learning how to behave in public.

The thing that offended me was that I tried to join her community, because I thought that the idea was cool, and she rejected my app. She refused me *solely because I was a member of childfree*. Then she used her community as a forum to spew hate at people who were childfree, without allowing discourse or rebuttal. The childfree community does not allow linking to other communities, or derision of them by name. Her community was not set up as an "anti-childfree" community by the looks of it - it was set up as a rant community. You know I hate hypocrites.

We will be sending CoA stuff out when we start sleeping at the new place.

I'm sorry to hear about the vultures. It's sad that when someone dies all some people can think of is "what can I get from it". BTW, I take to heart grandma's expression: "Being of sound mind and body, I spent it." I'd rather have the person than the stuff, anyway.
Mar. 2nd, 2006 10:09 pm (UTC)
Gma's stuff
I remember that Gma had you girls put your name on the back of the coin thingies that she got for you. When I find them, I will distribute. I may also pick out some of her jewelry that I think either of you might like etc. and send it when I get to it. Boo has said that she doesn't want any of Gma's clothes, foolishly I think since there are some nice ones in her size, particularly nice jackets etc. I know that neither of you want anything and that is refreshing. The same is true for Boo and family. It is a couple of the neighbors and friends that are being so vulturish, under the guise of helping me of course. I give them the benefit of the doubt, but it still tends to tick me off a bit. I think that is why I am hesitating to ask anyone to help me sort. Some people seem to think help sort means take what you want and I don't think that way.

As for the Asshat group, she did let me join. She may not understand that all of the childfree people are not like the teenyboppers that spew on there without much logic. I don't and never did put you in that class. I agree with you about running kids, and, most of the time, about taking screaming ones outside. I always did with you two, even as teenagers. LOL (Denny's and Jeans and night I will never forget) I know that I was not a perfect parent. To be such is absolutely impossible. I do believe that I must have done a few things right since both you and Boo turned out to be pretty cool women and very independent women who are not limited by gender. That was one of the things I most wanted to do, to make sure my "girls" could use a hammer as well as a soup ladle and a sanding block as well as knitting needles or a crochet hook and a sewing machine. I also worked to make sure you both played at least one musical instrument and learned an appreciation for music and could sing too. I also tried to encourage both of you to write and draw and to love to read. Those things started before you were one year old for both of you. (You should see how many scotch taped college texts your dad and I used as a result of your early attempts to "read" books!) The only thing I would, maybe, do differently would be to tell you both how much I loved you and thought you both were beautiful a bit more often. In my elderly wisdom I have learned that a person cannot possibly yell and scream and stay angry when they are being hugged and told that they are loved and beautiful. (Hell, if it worked to change Bill's attitude it will work with anyone!)
Love ya!
Mar. 2nd, 2006 11:28 pm (UTC)
Re: Gma's stuff
What I have from Grandma is memories. Anything else is just a symbol of the memories, IMO.

When friends of mine would talk about what they'd get when their parents died it would sort of, well, bother me. Family isn't just some people to inherit from. Besides, why in the hell should your parents feel obligated to accumulate wealth just to give it to you when they die?

I agree with you about running kids, and, most of the time, about taking screaming ones outside. I always did with you two, even as teenagers.

Yep, whether it was the grocery store or restaurants. "Do you want/need to go outside?" worked, because it wasn't an empty threat. Chris and I were perfectly capable of being absolute fricking brats, but we weren't allowed to get away with it in public.
Mar. 2nd, 2006 06:45 am (UTC)
It's not at all wrong, in a community where the info states that she is the final arbiter. I would disagree with being in a community that is so explicit about that as hers is, most likely, but it is laid out in plain view.

For the record, while I don't have her friended anymore, I do know that she doesn't tend to be a fluffybunny. She does enjoy a good grandstand though and these people played right into her hands.

Anyways, I hate to say, but this is one more thing that leads me to childfree and cf_hardcore. I think at this point, I'm going to have to remove you from my reading list. It's not a personal judgment over you, but the fact that those places make my blood pressure rise insanely. I know you've argued, as have other people, that you and these communities are not talking about well-behaved children, etc., etc., but I can't handle the overwhelming bigotry.

I don't think it's cool to take the fact that some people are astounded/amazed/offended/pissed off that (generic) you don't want children as an excuse to turn into bigots who throw around ephitets yourself. Yeah, it's kept in that community and as long as it stays in safe spaces, well, that the person's choice. However, spreading it out elsewhere is not only going to get a major response, it's going to end up being interpreted as trolling, which it almost always is.

Calling ANY little girl, no matter how snotty, a "cuntbunny" steps so far over the line that I can't even understand someone trying to defend it. Sorry.

I've enjoyed our interactions over the years and I appreciate a lot of your viewpoints. I just can't handle the stuff about childfree-bigotry that comes up occasionally, though.

I wish you all the best.
Mar. 2nd, 2006 06:13 pm (UTC)
?? WTF??

I don't put the CF slang in my journal, and I seldom mention childfree. Also, I am *NOT* a member of cf_hardcore. They are too strident and nasty for me.

I never ask anyone to read childfree or cf_hardcore. Really. I put the links so people know what communities I'm talking about.

While it may not be wrong to be a "final arbiter" in a community you own, it's still de classe, IMO.
Mar. 2nd, 2006 08:55 pm (UTC)
It came across to me somewhat as if you were defending the person who ranted, not just protesting what happened with the community.

Mainly, my big complaint is that my blood pressure just goes up reading about some of the stuff that gets said and it would probably be a good idea for me to stay away from it.
Mar. 2nd, 2006 09:36 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I don't like to read cf_hardcore, they just annoy me.
Mar. 4th, 2006 07:21 pm (UTC)
note_to_elorie was started by tigerwolf, apparently. He's a moron.
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )

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